"Sorry, you're just not gay enough. You wouldn't be a good role model for the community."

"Huh?"

This is part of the conversation that happened nearly 10 years ago between Anne Stockwell, editor of THE ADVOCATE and myself.  You see, I'm a chick director that loves bad B-movies, the sci-fi channel, and all things action. I also just happen to be a Lesbian. At the time, I had hair down to the middle of my back, wore heels and looked better than Brooke Shields on a bad hair day. I also wasn't "gay enough" to be in any other lesbian magazine either....hmmmm....but I was good enough for FEMME FATALES, SIRENS OF CINEMA, and some stripper magazines. I have been asked by every single straight magazine if I'm a Lesbian - but no one had ever printed it. The fact that I actually made a female driven action film to break stereotypes, THE THIRD SOCIETY, seemed to be enough controversy to give the good ol' boys a run for their money.

"You don't look like one of them."

What do "they" look like? Good Gravy. I got a wild hair one day and shaved my head - and became the short haired stereotype you see on tv...and landed my interview in CURVE. Well, it seems there's more to being a "lesbian" than looking like one - I HAVE to watch the L WORD and lesbian movies. Okay, now Kate Moennig is hot, don't get me wrong, but the L WORD has no guns, car chases or explosions - I wanna watch this show why??? Oh, and I need to go to the Pride parade. Why? My girlfriend at the time wouldn't go to the Grammy's with me but would go to Pride. So if she was all surefire "proud" why wouldn't she walk down the red carpet with me holding my hand? Oh wait, to be a good lesbian I have to hang out only with other members of the "community" and fit the stereotype, hate men but yet date chicks that are overweight and look like dudes... Yeaah...okaaaayy.... How ‘bout NO!!!!!  Sorry I'll take a lipstick lesbian anyday (unless it's Kate Moennig) or I'll go back to dating dudes (ah yes, my younger days) that look like Johnny Depp in PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN.

Flash forward a couple years later, movie number two SALVATION is under my belt and I'm talking to Mark at HERE! Network. So we have this conversation about how I'm a lesbian but don't do lesbian films because I hate "lesbian" movies.  So then Mark in all of his infinite wisdom says "Why don't you make a lesbian movie that you would actually want to see?" Uh...Good question...Very good question...

In answer to the question is my third feature film DENIZEN about a group of scientists that have to stop a creature from terrorizing a small town before the military blows it off the map. Yeah, Yeah, my character, Sierra Deacon,  is a lesbian with a hottie wife and runs around kicking ass...but guess what - NOBODY cares!!! I made it on the front page of Yahoo! Entertainment as the Female Roger Corman for the 21^st Century...pretty cool, huh? I find it awesome that people just like that I kick ass.

Two weeks ago, Jody sent me an email about this site DoorQ.com. I had to call him and talk to him, yes I do sci-fi. Yes, I'm a chick director. And yes, I just happen to be a Lesbian. Nobody cares. For me, it's all about the movies - not who I'm sleeping with or falling in love with. The "community" hates me  - I do occasionally wear heels, dress like a girl, am a life member of the NRA, a Republican and as my "day job" make assault weapons. Jody still wants me to blog. Okay dude...here we go...

Over the next few weeks I'll be filling you in on what is going on with DENIZEN and my new projects...you can love me or hate me - but for goodness sake, have an opinion. If I offend you - I will apologize in advance. At some point, don't worry, I will offend you. I love SOUTHPARK and hate everyone equally so get over your badself.

Cuz at the end of the day,  don't worry, I'm not THAT gay...

I'm happy. My feature film SALVATION just got accepted to the Asheville Rejects Film Festival in North Carolina. SALVATION? You've probably never heard of it. You don't live in Europe...so I'm here to tell you about it now.

PLOT: A girl, murdered at age 8, has arisen from death to avenge those that have wronged her. But will she risk damning her own soul to eternal purgatory to do what's right?

STORY: The centuries old battle between the powers of heaven and the forces of hell have collided in a final modern day showdown. The determining factor my lie in the heart of a little girl, murdered at 8 she has arisen to avenge those that have wronged her, but will find that the truth is not always as it seems. Will she risk damning her own soul to purgatory forever to do what's right?

Doesn't sound very "gay" I know, because it's not. I wanted to tell a good story and at the time was irritated by the Catholic Church's treatment of the Knights Templar. It's a story about how history and our perception of it can be little more than a fairytale. The Catholic Church murdered the Knights Templar and lied and the lie was believed for over 700 years. Oh yes, I violated rule #1 - do not piss off the Pope. Yeah, whatever. The rule that is the number 0.5 before #1 - never ask a question you don't already know the answer to.

The Canon Lawyer called - full of himself and quite sure that he was going to put me on the "naughty list". I guess there's some "blacklist" of the "bad people" that the church puts out. Whatever. To make a long story very short-almost a year after our conversation. The Catholic Church recognized the Parchment of Chinon where they kind of recognized the Church did very bad things to the Templars. Hmmm...

Now SALVATION isn't exactly cinema at its finest. It's a low-budget B movie. Not exactly all blood and guts and action - but I did kill a priest and that was fun...How bad can the movie be you ask? Pretty bad. We screened at the Trash Film Festival in Varazdin, Croatia where we were nominated for worst Sci-Fi Film and some other fests in the States kicked us some Honorable Mentions.

The Rejects Fest is gonna be fun. Lloyd Kaufmann from Troma was the guest of honor last year. If you are in North Carolina come hang out and chill.

I have the attention span of a gnat. 

I tried to blog after SALVATION screened at the Rejects Film Fest…fell asleep trying to write it. THEN I was going to blog about screening of DENIZEN: The Teaser Trailer at the Park City Film Music Festival (another fest that runs during Sundance).  I did write something – but it involved a machete, a hockey mask and a bunch of filmgoers trapped at a mountain resort. I went to Queer Lounge and hung out – hoping some of the gayness would rub off on me. Nah. Can’t get into movies where…”it’s a story about a gay youth and his sadness in overcoming persecution.” Are there guns? No. Are there car chases? No. Superheroes fly around? No. And I want to be here why? I had some pretentious obnoxious guy inform me that I needed to see some of the movies that had posters on the wall. Where are all the fanboys from the Cons? Any stormtrooper would do – STAR WARS, now that’s a great movie…no blogging Sundance for me…

My latest feature, DENIZEN, was conceived last year while talking to the Avid guys and spawned a software sponsorship.  Made it up on the spot. DENIZEN started off as a joke. Slowly then, it became a fun little story complete with comic. I got a creature, a bunch of bad army guys, good army guys, two lesbians, hot straight chicks, a geeky dude, a womanizer and a crossdresser.

One of the main characters (who just happens to be a Lesbian), Sierra Deacon, has a dad “Zeke” that’s a General in the Army – and a crossdresser. Kinda if Klinger from M*A*S*H stayed in the Army and had kids. Ed Neil from Texas Chainsaw Massacre was originally supposed to play the part – but had some scheduling conflicts. So, I had my friend, Dominique Storni, play Zeke. And in doing so, have probably once again, made cinematic history. See, Dominique used to be a dude, but took a trip to Thailand and is now a chick. So now I have a chick who used to be a dude playing a dude dressing as a woman. Get it? It still messes with my head. Oh, and Zeke has a pink assault rifle…

Sierra’s wife “Maggie” is hot, blonde, wears dresses and graduated with a Phd in Astrophysics from MIT. So much for Lesbians always wearing flannel and driving trucks. Maggie doesn’t carry a gun, but loves to blow things up. Got to love it, eh?

The Geeky guy, “Dex” has the hot wife and “Dallas” the womanizing straight dude can’t really get laid. Break the stereotypes - break them all...Oh, you’ll have to wait for the sequel for a gay dude – I would have written him like Emmett off of “Queer as Folk” and that wouldn’t have worked in this movie.

So stand with me or stand against me on my new movie. But stand for something. I’ll try to post a bit more regularly and let everyone know how DENIZEN is progressing. I’ll get the shots up of Dominique and I firing the real live semi-autos up on the video section and some more DENIZEN comic pics up.

Peace.