So I'm not usually one of the "real sciencey" types 'round these parts. I leave it to the uber-doorQs like The DQM, Carlos and Phantom Planet to post all that brainy stuff. They like to expand their brain cells. I like to drown, cure, stoke or otherwise explode mine. 

Be that as it may, I found both of these stories of interest. Probably because they involve pricks. Okay, definitely because they involve pricks. I love talking about pricks. 

Story One involves the creation of artificial penis tissue. Scientists have been able to artificially grow the fun cells that create our wacky wongs -- at least in rabbits. They've grown rabbit willy tissue, implanted that tissue in artificial "scaffolds" so those cells will form the proper cockular shape, then implant that scaffold into those unfortunate rabbits who've damaged their wee-wittle-wees, and, voila, a new functional penis results. 

Seriously. These cloned cocks -- you were thinking just that -- are fully functional (suck on that, Cmdr. Data!) even causing certain female rabbits to wind-up with child. Pop out the cigars. (No pun intended.)

Once this technology matures and the gays get a hold of it, can you imagine what we'll do with that "scaffolding?" ExtenZe? Please. I'll take one Jeff Stryker Super Scaffolding to go.

From big pricks to little, there may no longer be a need to get shafted with a needle.  The latest marvel the Brain Boys have come up with is a patch lined with tiny microneedles, each no bigger than a human hair. Slap one of these babies on your arm and the only pain you'll have is from the slap. 

See, the needles can be coated with whatever kind of medicine is needed. Like a bandaid, you'd just rip open a patch, slap it on your arm -- or other places, depending on where you like to be slapped -- and the medicine goes into your system. You could pick your flu shot off the shelf at Costco or keep a large stash of penicillin patches in the back of your refrigerator.  For, um, "shore-leave" issues.

Science, it's not just for geeks.