A few years back, Jon and I were in a movie theater. One of the trailers shown was for The Island. As we watched as the gorgeous and compelling Ewan MacGregor and Scarlett Johansson flee from perils like the hot and yummy Sean Bean, we realized that we’d seen this film before. ‘It's Parts: the Clonus Horror,’ Jon exclaimed. ‘Why are they remaking a Mystery Science Theater movie?’ Of course, the 1979 film wasn’t made for MST3K. It just fit there extremely well.

I preferred that version to the regular version which I also had the misfortune of seeing while in college. As it turns out, not even the director of Parts knew that they were re-making his film. When he finally noticed, he sued. As noted in the Wikipedia article about the lawsuit (which was settled), there were a number of similarities between The Island and Parts: The Clonus Horror. The one that wasn’t mentioned in a bullet point was that they both sucked. Even Michael Bay’s usual slick and fast paced presentation could not keep the film from tanking.

Such spectacular failures bring me to the conclusion that, perhaps, films about clones being raised for their body parts may not be a good subject for a film. Imagine my surprise to find that there is another film in the works involving clones being raised to donate their organs. This time, as before, it is a dystopian society (British in this case) where this process has somehow become a good idea. But in Never Let Me Go, there aren’t great escapes, harrowing pursuits and exposure to a shocked world of a heinous practice. This is about how one clone (purportedly to be played by Keira Knightley) learns to accept her role in the food chain and eventually succumb to death.

Okay, now I get to see characters go through this reprehensible process with no hope of them ever finding an escape. The author is a fine writer and this book has been lauded all over the place. His works have made some fine films, but this still sounds like a bad trip. Please, put the clones for body parts plots in the circular file.

Better yet, shred and burn them and bury the ashes.